holy gender, batman!!!

by shadymama

well, little bear, you are about baked and ready for the eatin’, scrum-diddly-umptious wise.  you are a little babbling brook of delight, the way yer eyebrows shoot up to hide underneath yer hair, and yer little mouth shapes into an O of genuine surprise and joy accompanied by the sharp intake of breath at something so simple and taken for granted in my own grown up life, something like a bird, taking startled flight as we walk by.  yer little, happy, unaware squeals as you play by yerself on the kitchen floor as i’m doing the dishes just kill me; the way you are so ensconced in yer own discoveries.   you talk, little concentrated charades of words, so obviously full of meaning, if you could.just.fit the slippery sounds inside yer mouth with more ease.  and you are so sweet.  and loving.  quick with a bear hug and a huge, lip-smacking, slobbery kiss.  but for a moment there, i needed you to please tell me, sweet bear.

what.is up.with batman?

who *is* the baby behind the bat mask?

because, you, child, you  are BAT.MAN.OB.SESSED.  and you were throwing yer gender neutral mama for.a.loop. 

fer real.

cuz before you came along, kid, i was straight convinced that gender typing/stereotyping was a result of nurture.  and culture.  and teevee.  and all sortsa other stuff that you weren’t gonna be hugely exposed to, because i would have that madness on LOCKDOWN.  cuz i would be that.good. 

laughable, man.  laughable.

cuz here you are, provin’ me wrong, left and up – a living breathing kick-down of a lesson from the universe; a lesson on so so much i thought i knew.  oh, grand and all knowing universe,

humble me.

i had a little medicine card throw-down with my new-age therapist lady in the next town over, a coupla weeks ago.  i asked for a spread about my baby bear, a spread to guide me in what i could do better, in ways i could honor you and yer feisty little spirit even more.  oh, what a spread it was.  she threw down the horse and the rabbit, the butterfly, the swan and the dog.  and what alla those mean is a whole lotta words for a whole different day, but what threw me hard and fast was when she said,

“oh, he is total boy, isn’t he?”

call me ignorant, naive and lame, but until that very moment, i hadn’t separated the masculine and feminine energies that swirl around this world healing and building, from the shoddy, damaging charade of what is “manly”, what is “womanly”, presented in the culture at large.   i had somehow forgotten that the masculine and feminine are present within us all, hanging in some degree of balance, and that the trick is honoring and cultivating both, to recognize and become whole inside of those powers, those natures and ways of being inside of us.

silly mama. 

i don’t need to quash yer little boyness, that rough and tumble, batman lovin’ boyness.  because, even with alla that masculine, just thumping and tearing around in yer little boy body, the feminine is there too.  it’s there when you give kisses and hugs to yer stuffed bear because he hurt himself falling off the couch.  it’s there when you are so so gentle with the flowers and the bugs in our front yard, when you hold out yer hand for a kiss from me just because.   when you cradle yer four legged friends heads and bodies in yer hands with tenderness and love.  yes, my sweet,   

you are a balance of beauty.  and boy.  and batman. 

and i love you.  mask and all.