mama’s day 2010*…
oh, child. it is mother’s day and you are, unavoidably, not with yer mother. but i am thinking thinking thinking of you. missing you. wishing you were here for me to celebrate, for – sweet child – what am i, without you? many things, perhaps, but
certainly not mother.
you have twined yer sweet, reaching vine of a soul ’round these tired bones and grown. you have filled these veins with something thicker and redder than blood, something that is both smooth and bitter to the tastebuds of my heart. my pulse beats yer two rhythm name like my life depends upon it, and, child, in so many ways,
depend; on the depth and width of of yer sweet breaths, on the stretch of yer smile and the vast wonder in yer eyes the size of sky. you staked yer claim in a body i had so foolishly claimed my own – tunneled yer way through my core, opening barred ribs, stretching sinew, changing the chemical structure of me. at the most, who i thought i was – and even more than that,
who i aimed to be.
and now, here, dear child, what’s left of my sensibilities are intricately entangled within the you that is being
that you are, bursting-up-buttercup-bubble-jump-and-shriek, my bear child of deep sleeps and snuffly, grunty snuggles. you fill me up to a fullness i didn’t.even.know i had the room to fill, have gifted me the expansiveness found within willing presence inside my own skin, you
have made me mother
and for this, i am grateful.
*written on may 9th, 2010